Children are living with curiosity and they are born that way and unfortunately, parents cannot change it. They learn lots of things in life, are gifted naturally with intuition and are open to everything they find.
Everything seems to be interesting to them. That’s why they want to know about many things. It’s indeed a sign of the thought-provoking surroundings and good development. As a parent, you wonder where they get all this curiosity from to a point of being annoyed when they ask so many simple clarifying questions that need answers.
Parents must help their children to develop their full consciousness and conscience, which will be a great means of getting spiritual experiences. Through these, the children will learn about self-esteem and moral values. This is their “first experience” with being “schooled” about being humans and live within the confines of the natural laws (as is above so it is below) and become good citizens of the world. As it is popularly said over and over again “Charity begins at home”.
Parents cannot continue to rely on and allow their children to be schooled by external forces and then turn around and blame the “system”. They have to take full responsibility as parents for abdicating their duties and roles that they are expected to play anyway.
The consequences of abdicating their parenthood and being good role models to their children lead to havoc, disaster, dis-ease, lack of peace, and love amongst humans globally and we see this happening right in front of our eyes in this century. As a result, parents live to tell the tale as their children lack self-esteem, lack vision, lack critical thinking, lack understanding, lack common purpose of their living with other fellow humans here on earth. This leads to abuse and careless behavior.
It results in lower self-confidence which equals self-hate, hopelessness, anxiety, lack of care amongst other fellow humans (camaraderie), constant suicidal thoughts, and eventually untimely death without living out fully, as it lacks brilliant expression as spiritual beings. As conscious and good role models, parents do not want and certainly do not wish to leave such a shameful legacy behind. As the late Dr. Maya Angelou said “when you know better, you do better” and there is no excuse and none are spared.
Of course, conscious parents want their children to have and be familiar with good values in life. As parents, what can you do then?
Here are 5 ways you can do to awaken and enrich their consciouness and conscience:
Give and live a good exemplary life. What you say and do every day reflects what you think about the world. If you say good stuff, your children will do the same. Children are great imitators. It is important for you to say and do nice things anytime anywhere, as they are watchers and if you go astray you will not only be reprimanded very quickly but you will be reminded of what you taught them, so tread very carefully.
Listen when they talk. Look at them in their eyes. Sometimes your children ask questions that sound so silly and crazy to the adults, like Mom, “where does the sun sleep when the night comes?” Listen to them and answer seriously, “The sun doesn’t sleep. It shines in other places in the world”. By listening, children will feel that they are heard and respected by their parents.
Show gratitude and happiness always even if things are not going your way. Show and share all the gratefulness, happiness, positive energy, and wonderful thoughts with your children. If you’re happy and grateful, they’re happy and thankful too. By so doing, the children will learn that life is enjoyable no matter what is going on around them.
Introduce them to nature. Tell them that all things that happen in the world are all connected to each other and that there’s a reason for everything. For example, water is a great source for all living creatures including humans, rivers, dams, plants, and animals. Humans are custodians to all living creatures and they must take good care of them.
Be flexible, yet be not too restrictive with your rules. Children should be informed at an early age and taught to differentiate right from wrong and about what they are allowed to do and not do. In African culture, we have an adage that says ” Ligotshwa lisemanzi” meaning the children are taught at a younger age because when they are older it is too late”.
However, always take notice of their development. There will be a certain stage and time in their lives when they can decide what they want to do and that must be discussed and agreed upon by both parents and children. By being flexible with your rules, children will stay cheerful and expressive.
Those 5 tips are actually easy to carry out. Just place yourself as your children’s parents and friends as well.
Again, remember that children are good imitators. Once you do or say something bad, there’s a great chance that they will repeat the same, so consistency is key. It is also important to notice when they use vulgar language that is not allowed to be spoken within the household, it is incumbent on you to admonish them immediately to eliminate the bad habit completely.
Where to go for Parenting Advice?
Raising children is a confusing business these days with all the information that is wildly and readily available with no filters on the internet and that is why both parents are so overwhelmed and children are so confused. There are times when any parent or caregiver can use additional wise parenting advice. There are many great books and reliable websites, useful advisory services in your local area available to parents to help them get through the day-to-day issues.
Every child is different, and every parent is different, too. Because of this, there are no one-size-fits-all cookie-cutter solutions that will work for everyone. The best suggestion is for you to review all the solutions you discover and take a few quiet minutes to critically think about them. Modify the suggestions to best suit your family, your teachings, and your environment, and don’t be afraid to try out more than one until you discover the best possible practical answer.
Do not hesitate to share the ups and downs of parenting with another parent. You may be surprised to find that they are experiencing some of the same joys and frustrations as you and perhaps you can ALL share some useful practical notes(suggestions) and help each other out.
Here are some more practical tips to help you get started:
1. Tell your children that you love them at every opportunity you get. Don’t just show it by buying them things. Verbalize it and show them by hugging them. They don’t need stuff, they just want to know that you see them, you hear them, you value or appreciate them, and respect them.
2. Be supportive, actively participate, and be involved in your children’s interests and activities outside of their home – go to their concerts, games, and plays. This should be your highest priority.
3. Involve your children in family discussions and decisions, and they in turn will learn how to work together to find solutions and critically reach decisions as one unit.
4. Do not ever say or shout at your child displaying disdain “Because I said so” or “Because I am the parent”. Instead, always try and understand where they come from and then rationally explain your reasons and find a middle ground for making a final decision. Not only will children then understand and comply easier, but it will help them to develop their own reasoning skills.
5. One popular mistake parents make is asking instead of telling. The way you phrase your words determines whether your children see your request as optional or required. Take away all wishy-washy phrases from your vocabulary. When you want your child to do something or stop doing something, make it clear and be so specific that it leaves no room for confusion.
Remember why you are doing this in the first place
Many parents start out on the right track but are derailed by an incredibly persistent and resistant child. It seems that when children couple their youthful energy with an extraordinary ability to pinpoint their parent’s weak spots, the result is usually a disaster.
If you are doing such a great job as a parent, there are many times when your decisions will not be popular with your children, then do not despair or give up or derail your overall goal of raising your own children. When your child is nagging, whining, rolling their eyes, or acting up or pleading with you, it is a sure sign that your tactics are working, you are on track and you have made the right decision.
It is also a great signal that you need to disengage from your youngster, teach and demonstrate and make him or her understand that under no circumstances you will be easily swayed by their persistence, otherwise, this will open up a can of uncontrollable worms, if you carry on down that yo-yo path. Stand firm and do not be allowed to be manipulated, especially if you are a single Mom who feels overwhelmed and guilty for acting in good faith.
Remember: Your most important role and goal as a parent is not to make your children happy for a short-term gain. The reason for this whole worthwhile exercise is to raise conscious capable and responsible human beings with a conscience for the rest of their lives. There will be many times when your children will be unhappy and dismissive of your decisions. Just bear in mind WHY you are doing it in the first place and besides, they will appreciate, love, and thank you for it later when they are wiser and older and have their own children to raise.
Today there are more parents than any other generation of parents in history. There is an incredible amount of pressure to raise responsible conscious children, therefore actively seek relevant, substantive practical information and knowledge about parenting advice you can lay your hands on and use from friends, books, and the internet.
However, the most important wisdom resides within you. Take advantage of this information. Read and take notes. And be confident in your actions. Best wishes my fellow parents.
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